W/E 3/7

Surprised?

I think not. For quite some time we've been on this bandwagon.

For years now, American parents have been marinating in a single, soothing cultural message: If you are gentler, more collaborative, less authoritative, your children will feel closer to you. You too can be a friend (instead of a parent).

So-called "parenting" experts have warned repeatedly that structure risks rupture, that firm rules damage attachment, and that saying “no” too decisively can fracture the bonds we try so desperately to preserve.

Offering freedom and numerous choices, we’ve been promised, will bring us better relationships with our kids than previous, stricter generations had with their own children. 

An entire industry of Instagram therapists and parenting influencers has grown up around this idea, selling a version of “gentle parenting” that often slides quietly from warmth into boundary avoidance, from empathy into endless negotiation.

New survey data from the Institute for Family Studies should give that consensus serious pause.

They examined how different household rules and structures correlated with reported relationship quality between parents and children.  The results cut directly against the “gentle” narrative.

The teenagers surveyed reported stronger parent-child relationships in homes that enforce curfews and clear rules.

Those teens had grown up in homes with consistent bedtimes, screen limits, device drop-off times, and structured homework blocks.

In other words, the presence of boundaries and structure correlates with higher relationship quality, not lower.

As in everything in life, though, there’s a tradeoff: Parents in homes with more rules are more likely to report that parenting feels more difficult for them. You mean life ain't easy? Well then get neutered.

I'll make another WILD & CRAZY assessment. Gentler parenting has something to do with the atrocious academic performance of so many kids. Letting kids walk around with earings, nose rings, unruly hair and a generally unkempt look don't help breed self esteem. Spare the rod and spoil the child.

(Excerpted from NY Post article provided by J. Bubrick. Thanks.)